Gain the world, lose my soul

So long, London. You've worn us out, painted us red, and all that. We're off to Bath--to get clean. Ha ha. I mean it. Clean the smog from our lungs, the manic panic frantic from our brains. Out comes the tent. It's plan B but we just can't pay hotel and hostel prices. I guess we're just two cheap mofo's.

I've had a revelation. I cheapen the word. It's a small one, but nonetheless, here it is. Consuming can be more than just shopping. I haven't bought a thing, but I can stomp through Europe greedily consuming the sights. Stuff stuff stuff! Stuff in the art! Stuff in the museums, the galleries, the cathedrals! Fill my gaping soul. Arg! I am empty still. I have not escaped distraction. I have replaced TV, food, whatever, with Europe's beauty, but seen nothing, experienced nothing. Gained nothing, lost more of myself. Transformed beauty to ugliness that clutters my soul. God, where are you? Better yet, where the hell am I? I am sightseeing myself all the way to the devil's gate quite literally.

Then, to make it worse, I can blog in the name of connection, but really, who is this helping? "Who is your audience?" Me. I can't blog knowing you're all looking. It makes me warp my words. But I want you all to look. It helps fill that hole. It's sick. It's twisted.

Purify me--from me.

So, I may blog less. See less. Experience more. Rest more. "Be in the moment" and all those other platitudes, but really mean it. Be still. And more still. So, you'll hear less of me, so I can hear more of Him. We're all better for it. You know it.